Every romantic relationship is as unique as the two people involved in it. It isn’t one-size-fits-all when it comes to partners. Everyone wants a secure, valid, happy and full of love relationship. All of those make a relationship healthy and strong. Although one must keep in mind that strong relationships are not built overnight. They require time, commitment, passion, understanding and more.
Tips to Strengthen Spousal Bonds
Let’s have a look at some tips on how to build a healthy relationship with your partner.
The bond between partners is always unique. No two couples have the same bond. They have their own understanding levels, love languages, inside jokes and attachment levels. Don’t compare your relationship to someone else’s relationship. Accept that each couple has their good and bad times. They may have something that you wish to have but they may also lack something you cherish in your own relationship.
Relationships are like teamwork. And teams have a common goal. Since you and your partner are a team, both of you have to reach a common goal in order to achieve a happy and strong relationship. This may require adjustment and even sacrifice from both of you. But the longlasting companionship is a higher reward.
Everyone wishes for a partner who will be their number one support. They want their partner to back them up in their life goals, career achievements and major decisions. Having someone to rely on gives comfort and confidence in the relationship.
Respect does not equate to authority. As a spouse, you have to respect the others’ individuality, their views, choices, opinions, interests even if they are different from your own. Considering them is important in your decisions and validating their feelings shows your respect for them.
Trust is a strong foundation for every relationship. Knowing that your partner is committed to you and will not betray you in any manner provides peace in the relationship. Trust issues are common, they lead to paranoia and anxiety in the doubtful partner. Trust has to be gained and maintained keeping in mind that it is as fragile as thin ice. Breaking it would cause the relationship to drown.
Two people in love shower each other with affection and flattering compliments often. These small gestures can eventually be taken for granted. Avoid taking your partner and their love for granted. Appreciate the smallest things they do for you which could be making you a cup of coffee after a long day, bringing you your favourite flowers for your birthday, looking after you while you’re unwell. Appreciation motivates them to continue those gestures and in turn strengthens the bond.
Talking openly about your thoughts, feelings, worries, plans, expectations, aspirations, interests, frustrations provides clarity and confidence to both the partners and strengthens the relationship. It is also necessary to hear your partner out in the same way you would want to be heard. Providing a space where your partner can express themself encourages emotional intimacy. Open communication is especially necessary during arguments and disagreements.
The dating period includes meals, movies, special gifts and surprises which make it flattering. Keep doing all those things even during the committed relationship and marriage to fuel the love. Being with the same person for years can become monotonous. To avoid the monotony and keep the flame burning, keep the date nights coming. A date night does not necessarily have to be fancy, it might even be getting an ice cream or a nice walk in the park while you focus on each other.
Intimacy between the couple does not always mean sex. It also includes holding hands, warm hugs, cuddling and kisses. The human touch is an essential part of our existence. Affectionate contact boosts oxytocin secretion in our body. Oxytocin is known as the “love hormone”, it influences bonding and attachment.
All of us make mistakes. Your partner’s mistakes may even cause you pain. But an honest apology and efforts towards making things better deserve forgiveness. Although there are some people who forgive but still hold a grudge against their partner. That grudge takes up mental and emotional space in the relationship and eventually pushes the partners away from each other. To ensure a strong relationship, be quick to forgive wholeheartedly.
For Better or For Worse
Sharing life’s misery and happiness is part of marriage and relationship. Stick by each other through thick and thin. Being together through it all binds you together. Be there for your partner when he gets promoted at work but also be there when they lose their dream job. Your partner should be able to find comfort in you whenever they need it. Couples who have been married for a long time will testify that they held each other close when there were tears of joy and tears of sadness.
In a relationship or marriage, wanting to be with your partner often is natural. But constant “together time” can be suffocating. At the same time too much alone time can cause distance between the two partners. Maintain a balance between “together time” and “me time”. Both the individuals have a personal life, respect that and give each other space. Spend some time with your respective friends groups, Dive into your hobbies. But keep each other in the loop so your partner does not feel suddenly sidelined during your “me time”.
Once a couple has children, their world revolves around those tiny humans. Your children will always be the apple of your eye and require all your attention. Often, couples forget to focus on each other once they become parents and after the child grows up and has his own life, the parents do not understand what or how to communicate things that do not involve the children. Staying connected as a couple through parenting is essential for the growth of your family. Cherish your child but do not forget to love your partner.
Maintaining a relationship is necessary but during the process of building the relationship, it is very essential to recognize the red flags that may be big hurdles for your efforts. These red flags include extreme jealousy, your partner’s controlling behaviour, deteriorating physical and emotional intimacy, your partner’s violent or abusive behaviour or even their unwillingness to talk about the problems between the two of you.
Seek Professional Help
If despite all your efforts you are still facing major challenges in your relationship or marriage, do not hesitate to seek professional help from a psychologist or counsellor. This might help save your bond with the one you love and give you a fresh start.
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