Dr.Lillian Glass defines a toxic relationship as “any relationship between people who don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and lack of cohesiveness.”
A toxic relationship is mentally, physically, emotionally and may even be physically harmful for either one or both the individuals involved. A toxic relationship does not necessarily have to be romantic. It may even be one with your family, friends or a colleague. If any relationship hampers your peace, happiness and sense of self, it proves to be toxic.
The question that lies ahead is how to end a toxic relationship?
Ending toxic relationships is a tough task. Couples with children want to stay together for their child’s sake. Some are so habituated to their toxic partner, stepping out of that relationship would be like giving up a drug. Many are financially dependent on their partner and would not be able to make ends meet if they end the relationship. Some are deeply in love despite the toxic nature of their partner. And some are not ready to give up on the relationship because they do not want to be questioned or shamed by society.
There are some steps that will guide you towards ending toxic relationships.
Toxic relationships have certain standard features. Recognize those and accept the fact that the relationship is indeed toxic. The love you have for the toxic individual cannot validate the abuse and manipulation you face. Understand that you deserve to be treated better, your love and care deserve reciprocation.
Many people believe that if they stay longer and love harder, the toxic behaviour will stop. But if the change is demanding the deterioration of your mental, physical and emotional health, the wait is not worth it. Also accept that stepping away from the relationship is going to hurt. Initially, it will cause distress and require strong will power.
Leaving a manipulative person is never easy. They will try their best to make you stay and even guilt trip you for even thinking of leaving them. Therefore, have a definite plan you can stick to without getting distracted by their words or actions. The plan might include confrontation, walking out on them, writing them a letter or any other way that suits you.
Once you have stepped away from them, set your boundaries and stand firm on your decision.
In emotional times like these, you will need a support system. Share your situation and decision with the people you trust. Maybe your parents, siblings, friends, relatives or neighbours. Share without holding back any information so your support group knows exactly how to help you out.
A traumatic incident like this may even require professional support. Do not hesitate to reach out to a psychologist or a psychotherapist.. Consulting a mental health professional will aid your recovery from the trauma.
Toxic individuals are revengeful. Be prepared for a counter attack after you have executed your plan. It is not necessary to respond to their attack unless it affects you severely. Follow the Gray Rock Method by Nadene van der Linden. A method of staying unemotional, ignorant and neutral to the triggers put forth.
Being in a toxic environment results in ignoring your own needs, putting aside your hobbies, deteriorating health and lost connection with your inner self. Once you are away from the toxicity, make efforts to focus on yourself. Take time to heal and recover. Spend time doing things that make you happy. That could involve getting back to your hobbies, travelling, attempting new things.
Form A Positive Bubble
Surround yourself with the people that bring a smile to your face. Those who understand your situation and do not judge you for your choice. Replacing all the negativity you faced with positivity is essential if you want to recover completely after ending the toxic relationship.
Life goes on and so must we. One toxic relationship does not mean your life is over. Take it as a life lesson and go on with life. You have many beautiful things in store for you. Excel in your career, build your contact circle,develop your own personality.
In context to your romantic interests, make sure to heal from your past relationship before you indulge in the next to ensure a healthy love life.
Ending toxic relationships is easier said than done but hopefully the above blog about how to end a toxic relationship will guide you to a better future.
Read more :
Teen Depression: Why Do Many Teenagers Feel Depressed?
Overcoming Toxic Relationships
Psychotherapies to Treat Depression
What is Clinical Depression? Causes and Symptoms.
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