How often do you feel that your efforts go unappreciated?
At such times, self-appreciation or the act of โpat your own backโ is the biggest support. Knowing your self-worth to pat your own back for your efforts can be your motivation.
Most times you rely on external validation since childhood. Unfortunately, this has become the only source of appreciation even as adults. You tend to forget that the validation you get from others can never be as important as the validation you get from yourself through the art of โpat your own back.โ
It may sound wrong to many. But logically, if you do not pat your own back for something that others approve of, are we going to accept it wholeheartedly?
No, right?
Therefore when it comes to yourself, your own opinion is the first and most important thing you must seek, and use to pat your own back. Likewise, your appreciation of yourself is what matters most for you to feel rewarded.
What is there to Appreciate?
If you have difficulty to pat your own back, a simple question like โwhat should I appreciate myself for?โ may seem obvious.
Let us begin with the basics. Each one has faced their own challenges throughout life. But going through that and landing in the position you are right now is resilience, which definitely deserves applause.
Your perseverance to set an aim and work towards achieving it is something commendable and you should pat your own back. If you graduated with the degree, you wanted and are doing a job you intended to. You have begun your journey to a fulfilling life and you should pat your own back.
Your ability to wake up and go through the day, complete your tasks and be a good colleague is an exercise that many are struggling with every day. Hence living up to your responsibilities is worth appreciating, so you should pat your own back.
The daily hassles and stress at work can affect your mood and hamper your work performance. But the ability to overcome these hurdles and give your best each day is a task. Feel proud of yourself at the end of every day.
Be your biggest cheerleader!!
The deeper you heal, the better you’ll feel
Is Self-appreciation Important?
In an era where people believe they are their own cheerleaders, a skill like self-appreciation where you pat your own back is a must. It is not always easy. But if you pat your own back and recognize your self-worth and practise self-love, self-appreciation will come easily.
Especially now, when social media shows only the good side of othersโ lives, people begin to doubt their choices, situations and chances of success. The feeling that others are better than you and you are not achieving anything in life has become very common in the generation that scrolls through social media all day, every day.
This is where the habit of โpat your own backโ or noticing your positives, struggle, perseverance, talents, hard work and efforts can save you from spiralling into that infinite hole of self-doubt.
Self-appreciation is saying thank you to yourself. You deserve the gratitude you so often shower. It will improve your relationship with yourself and give you a feeling of satisfaction.
What is the Difference?
Self-love, self-esteem and self-appreciation are often used interchangeably. But, they are distinct.
Self-love is the act of loving yourself unconditionallyโirrespective of your gender, social status, looks, abilities, etc. Self-love can be materialistic or spiritual.
Self-esteem is the act of practising habits that ensure you respect yourself and set a standard for others regarding how they treat you. It often changes based on recent incidents, situations and mood.
On the other hand, self-appreciation is about acknowledging your skills, attributes and behaviour and patting your back for all of it. Within the process of self-appreciation, one also identifies the negative aspects of themselves.
Therefore, it provides room for improvement.
These three concepts of self interlink but are distinct in the manner of their execution and core belief.
Signs of Low Self-appreciation
Identifying low self-appreciation is not difficult. There are certain behaviours that make the lack of self-appreciation obvious. Such as:
- Feeling unconfident about your abilities
- Not considering yourself worthy of recognition
- Rejecting gestures of appreciation from others
- Negative self-talk
- Hesitation to take on responsibilities
- Being too critical of yourself
- Relying on external validation for everything
- Refusing to reward yourself despite deserving it
If you notice the above signs in yourself or anyone around you, refer to the tips on how to pat your own back to inculcate self-appreciating behaviour.
Practising Self-appreciation
A frequent reminder of your worth and strength is what self-appreciation feels like. Inculcating the habit of appreciating yourself may take some effort.
Are you wondering how to practise it?
Here are a few tips to pat your own back.
1. Mind your Language
Conversing with and chiding yourself may be necessary. But each time you talk to yourself, be careful of what you say. Are you speaking harshly or with affection?
Whenever you talk to yourself, imagine you are talking to your ten-year-old self. How would you speak then?
Your words would be gentle, understanding, full of love and motivating.
If you are going to be your own cheerleader, make sure you cheer positively and not too critically.
Phrases like โI did a good jobโ, โI am proud of the work I deliverโ are some examples of positive self-talk.
2. Listen to Yourself
Your body, thoughts and mind tell you things that need a listening ear. Some call these intuitions. Listen when they say something doesn’t feel right or when something is the right decision.
Paying attention to your wants, needs and preferences is a part of giving importance to yourself. You can appreciate yourself only when you know yourself well.
3. Be Kind to Yourself
Do not compare your journey and current situation with anyone whose life does not even resemble you closely. Avoid being hard on yourself.
Instead, pat your own back and reward yourself with something after every noteworthy achievement. This will help you remember the accomplishments you have made.
Rewarding will also act as a motivator to accomplish more in the future.
4. Donโt Be Dismayed
There will definitely be times when the work you offer will be criticised and rejected. At such a time, compliment yourself for your willingness to take up the task and execute it irrespective of it being accepted or rejected by others.
Keep in mind that you gave your all.
5. Like What You See
Daily, you view yourself in the mirror before you head out for the day. Do you like the image of yourself when you look in the mirror?
Appreciate the facade of your being. Make it a point to smile at yourself every day. Notice how beautiful you are. You do not have to look the best or dress flawlessly every day.
Your looks or appearance are not the basis for others to judge you but being happy with yourself includes being pleased with how you present yourself to others.
6. Hype Up
Some days you may not feel all that confident or strong. To prevent a low performance on such days, you can develop a habit of positive pep talks.
You can even speak out affirmations at yourself.
Affirmations need not be fancy phrases. Simple sentences such as โToday I am going to give my bestโ, โI can achieve my goals through my skillsโ, โMy hard work is going to pay offโ,
It may seem silly initially, but our mind believes the words we hear often and affirmations add to self-belief.
Red Alert
There is a very thin line between self-appreciation and toxic positivity. Appreciating and motivating yourself with a pat your own back attitude is excellent until this behaviour enables you to ignore your mistakes or flaws.
Self-appreciation does not mean you deny your lacking mistakes and hype yourself up even when there is a need for improvement. This will stunt your development.
Keep a check on the things you pat your own back for. You can not intentionally miss the deadline for a task and still go on to appreciate yourself for showing up to work that day or being honest about it to your manager.
Ananda Offers Help
Having a healthy relationship with yourself is essential for good mental health. Self-related issues can be the cause of various psychological disorders.
If you are facing issues related to self-worth, self-doubt, self-love or self-esteem, reach out to Ananda for professional help.
Read More:
Embrace Gratitude For Life and Alter YOur Perspective
Swim Against the Flow: Tackling the Herd Tendency
Mental Health Benefits of Yoga
What Does a Relationship Counselor Do? How Does Marriage Counseling Work?
