Dr.Lillian Glass defines a toxic relationship as โany relationship between people who donโt support each other, where thereโs conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where thereโs competition, where thereโs disrespect and lack of cohesiveness.โ
A toxic relationship is mentally, physically, emotionally and may even be physically harmful for either one or both the individuals involved. A toxic relationship does not necessarily have to be romantic. It may even be one with your family, friends or a colleague. If any relationship hampers your peace, happiness and sense of self, it proves to be toxic.
There are certain Signs Of A Toxic Relationship which can be recognized through the partnersโ behaviour. Below are a few red flags:
Lack of Trust
Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship. Trust of your partnerโs faithfulness and of your partnerโs treatment towards you is necessary. You have a sense of security when you trust that your partner gives you importance, acknowledgement, affection and freedom.
Trust builds over time through oneโs actions. Your partnerโs words and actions have to meet for them to gain your blind trust. Both partners have to come through with their promises to build a trustworthy relationship.
Toxic Communication
Communication is the key to maintaining a relationship. If a relationship has to be healthy, the communication between the partners has to be healthy. If each conversation feels like you are walking on eggshells where you have to choose your words carefully to the extreme that you are unable to express yourself truthfully, it is indeed a toxic atmosphere.
An attempt to express your feelings turns into an attack and defense scenario, constant criticism over your opinions and choices, often feeling misunderstood or guilty for no mistake of yours are all signs of toxic communication.
Control
Being asked where you were at all times, being blamed for not answering calls and messages immediately, being told what to do and not do or what to wear and not wear, having to take your partnerโs permission before making any decisions are all methods of control used in a relationship. This control stems from various issues like lack of trust, insecurity, jealousy and more.
Constantly being controlled can feel suffocating after a point to the extent that one just wants out from it all so they can breathe freely.
Abuse
Abuse comes in many forms. They include physical, emotional, mental, sexual and intelllectual abuse. Your partner being verbally or physically abusive are the major red flags. They may also demean you often, have a habit of gaslighting you, undermining your expertise and views, questioning your worth which begins affecting your own self-worth. All these are forms of abuse that have a gradual negative affect on mental,physical and emotional health.
One Way Flow
Efforts to maintain a relationship are visible to your partner as well as to the people around you. Same way, lack of effort is also visible. When only one partner is showering love, attention, respect and time while the other partner takes the relationship for granted and makes no attempt to show genuine interest in the relationship may turn into lack of interest from both the individuals and eventually a fall out in the relationship.
Disrespect
A healthy relationship also includes a give and take of respect for both the partners to feel appreciated. Sarcasm, criticism, ignorance, demeaning remarks, speaking ill of each otherโs family members and friends unnecessarily. portray disrespect. After a certain time, disrespect leads to resentment and causes arguments,
Burning Bridges
Detaching yourself from your family and friends as a result of fear of your toxic partnerโs disapproval is a method of controlling you. If you feel that spending time with anyone other than your partner may upset him/her and be the cause of an argument between you, shake yourself out of your slumber and realize that this is their way of manipulation..
Defending
Introducing your partner to your family and friends invites remarks, opinions and comments from them about your partner. If you catch yourself defending your partner against many negative comments about his/her behaviour towards you and making excuses for his/her mistakes, trust that your family and friends can see a harmful side of your relationship which is hidden from you at that moment.
Deteriorating Self-care
Getting overwhelmed by emotional turmoil, frequent distress, uncertainty and lack of safety can preoccupy oneโs mind. It then leaves no room for attention towards self. Ignoring your own hobbies, health, โme-timeโ to stay in the good books of your toxic partner is a major sign of them overshadowing you as you lose your sense of self. Personal growth being hampered on account of an overwhelming relationship proves itโs toxicity.
Being in or trying to recover from a toxic relationship can be very overwhelming by yourself.
Take the help of trained professionals.
Praying For Change
We as humans wish for changes in situations we are uncomfortable with or unhappy about. On the contrary we do not even think of change if we are happy and satisfied with the situation. If you notice yourself praying for a change in your toxic boyfriend or toxic girlfriend or the overall relationship, you certainly are not happy. And if your source of love makes you unhappy, it is not the right source.
Dr.Lillian Glass defines a toxic relationship as โany relationship between people who donโt support each other, where thereโs conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where thereโs competition, where thereโs disrespect and lack of cohesiveness.โ
A toxic relationship is mentally, physically, emotionally and may even be physically harmful for either one or both the individuals involved. A toxic relationship does not necessarily have to be romantic. It may even be one with your family, friends or a colleague. If any relationship hampers your peace, happiness and sense of self, it proves to be toxic.
There are certain Signs Of A Toxic Relationship which can be recognized through the partnersโ behaviour. Below are a few red flags:
Lack of Trust
Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship. Trust of your partnerโs faithfulness and of your partnerโs treatment towards you is necessary. You have a sense of security when you trust that your partner gives you importance, acknowledgement, affection and freedom.
Trust builds over time through oneโs actions. Your partnerโs words and actions have to meet for them to gain your blind trust. Both partners have to come through with their promises to build a trustworthy relationship.
Toxic Communication
Communication is the key to maintaining a relationship. If a relationship has to be healthy, the communication between the partners has to be healthy. If each conversation feels like you are walking on eggshells where you have to choose your words carefully to the extreme that you are unable to express yourself truthfully, it is indeed a toxic atmosphere.
An attempt to express your feelings turns into an attack and defense scenario, constant criticism over your opinions and choices, often feeling misunderstood or guilty for no mistake of yours are all signs of toxic communication.
Control
Being asked where you were at all times, being blamed for not answering calls and messages immediately, being told what to do and not do or what to wear and not wear, having to take your partnerโs permission before making any decisions are all methods of control used in a relationship. This control stems from various issues like lack of trust, insecurity, jealousy and more.
Constantly being controlled can feel suffocating after a point to the extent that one just wants out from it all so they can breathe freely.
Abuse
Abuse comes in many forms. They include physical, emotional, mental, sexual and intelllectual abuse. Your partner being verbally or physically abusive are the major red flags. They may also demean you often, have a habit of gaslighting you, undermining your expertise and views, questioning your worth which begins affecting your own self-worth. All these are forms of abuse that have a gradual negative affect on mental,physical and emotional health.
One Way Flow
Efforts to maintain a relationship are visible to your partner as well as to the people around you. Same way, lack of effort is also visible. When only one partner is showering love, attention, respect and time while the other partner takes the relationship for granted and makes no attempt to show genuine interest in the relationship may turn into lack of interest from both the individuals and eventually a fall out in the relationship.
Disrespect
A healthy relationship also includes a give and take of respect for both the partners to feel appreciated. Sarcasm, criticism, ignorance, demeaning remarks, speaking ill of each otherโs family members and friends unnecessarily. portray disrespect. After a certain time, disrespect leads to resentment and causes arguments,
Burning Bridges
Detaching yourself from your family and friends as a result of fear of your toxic partnerโs disapproval is a method of controlling you. If you feel that spending time with anyone other than your partner may upset him/her and be the cause of an argument between you, shake yourself out of your slumber and realize that this is their way of manipulation..
Defending
Introducing your partner to your family and friends invites remarks, opinions and comments from them about your partner. If you catch yourself defending your partner against many negative comments about his/her behaviour towards you and making excuses for his/her mistakes, trust that your family and friends can see a harmful side of your relationship which is hidden from you at that moment.
Deteriorating Self-care
Getting overwhelmed by emotional turmoil, frequent distress, uncertainty and lack of safety can preoccupy oneโs mind. It then leaves no room for attention towards self. Ignoring your own hobbies, health, โme-timeโ to stay in the good books of your toxic partner is a major sign of them overshadowing you as you lose your sense of self. Personal growth being hampered on account of an overwhelming relationship proves itโs toxicity.
Praying For Change
We as humans wish for changes in situations we are uncomfortable with or unhappy about. On the contrary we do not even think of change if we are happy and satisfied with the situation. If you notice yourself praying for a change in your toxic boyfriend or toxic girlfriend or the overall relationship, you certainly are not happy. And if your source of love makes you unhappy, it is not the right source.
Read more :
Teen Depression: Why Do Many Teenagers Feel Depressed?
A Way Out Of Toxic Relationships
Psychotherapies to Treat Depression
What is Clinical Depression? Causes and Symptoms.
Pre-natal Depression: What is it and How to Overcome from it?
